Monday, March 3, 2014

Getting Back to (a new) Normal

Today marks two months since I lost the most important man in my life, my daddy. 

It still seems so unbelievable. It just happened so fast. Stupid Cancer. He fought for two months.  No more pain.  No more suffering.  For that, we are thankful.  It hurts. A lot.  It's different. But, it is definitely real.  I know it was all part of God's great plan, but there are still times that I question God.  Why my dad?

What about my children?  They still need their grandpa.  He loved them so much.  I still need him.  And my Mother. She's only 63.  Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair.

The past two months have been hard. Very hard. But, today as the sun is shining, I am reminded that there is always something to be thankful for.  Our God is always good.  While I miss my daddy, I rejoice that he is in Heaven. I am thankful for the two months that he fought to give us time. My siblings and I became closer.  We spent many nights together sleeping on the floor of my parents' bedroom during his last days.  We laughed together and cried together.  Now we grieve together, but I am thankful that we have each other.  My husband and I grew closer.  He was an amazing support during his illness.  Making sure I spent as much time as possible with my father.  Seeing my husband say goodbye to my father was a very hard, yet wonderful thing to experience.  Their relationship was special and for that I am thankful.   I have an amazingly strong mother and an incredible family.  I am truly blessed.   My three children will remember their Grandpa who adored them.  Between afternoon naps, tractor rides, trips to Florida, and everyday snuggles, my children were lucky to have a Grandpa who made them feel special and loved.  Yes, we miss him. A lot. He left behind wonderful memories and so many life lessons.  We must continue to make the best of each and everyday...and that's what I intend to do. TODAY, I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back to (a new) normal.  I am going to start living life intentionally.  Join me.   

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